My last post said I had "other things" going on, but couldn't reveal at the time. Well, I'm almost 14 weeks pregnant! What a surprise!
You know, the dr's warn you about this. After losing lots of weight, it makes women more fertile. In fact, some women have weight loss surgery to correct or restore their fertility. I'm proof that you can't be too careful.
Anyway, it is unexpected but we're still excited. Jonathan is very excited to have a little brother or sister on the way.
When I found out, I was less than 6 months out from surgery. Needless to say, I panicked! I immediately made an appointment with my nutritionist. I knew I was not eating enough for me and a baby - boy, was I right. I'm still struggling to add the calories and protein that I need. I've added 400 more calories to my diet and lost an additonal 8 pounds. Just goes to show you, that my body was not getting enough.
I researched ob/gyn offices to find the right one. I had switched dr's in January, but realized after my initial visit that he would not be the one I go to for my next pregnancy. I had a c-section with Jonathan because he was Frank Breech - butt down, head up and a foot on either side of his head. He was literally folded in half :-) Poor little guy! Anyway, I wanted the option of trying a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesearean). When I asked the dr in January, he gave me a smarta$$ answer. That was NOT what I was looking for.
So, I found a new dr in a practice of 4. All of the dr's specialize in high risk pregnancies. My surgery doesn't make me high risk, but the lack of nutrition could. I'm also not his first RNY patient :-) I was very glad to hear that.
The only problem now is that all of my maternity clothes are too big! Ha ha!!
Friday, November 9, 2012
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
It's been a while...
Hello. My name is Julie. I had RNY surgery almost 6 months ago and have lost a total of 72 pounds.
I know, it's been a while since my last confession post. Life has been busy. My little guy started school and my husband's job has kicked into high gear, leaving me with a lot to handle on my own. Here he is getting ready to go inside school on the first day :-)
The first 6 months post surgery is usually considered the "rapid weightloss time." Meaning, you loss A LOT of weight VERY FAST. I guess that has been true for me. Now, I'm at a point that if I stay at, or around this weight, I would be ok. To be "normal" would require me to lose another 25 pounds. But who is "normal"??? I'm down to a size 12 and I feel great! I don't plan on or want to be stick thin...
There's more going on, but I can't reveal any of it... yet :-)
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Remembering
Anyone with a memory, can tell you where they were on September 11, 2001. It think it's safe to say that it is a day we all will never forget.
I was at work. I had worked for this company for 1 1/2 yrs and been married for 9 months. Our department was in transition from one location in the building to another, so they had 6 of us crammed into a conference room. What was supposed to last a couple of weeks ended up being several months... but that's another story.
Anyway, someone in our group had a call letting her know that one of the World Trade Center buildings had been hit by an airplane. I shrugged it off, because I really didn't believe her... Then she got a call that another plane had hit the other building.
My company only had 1 tv in the building and it was used for "business recovery purposes" only. Well, I found that conference room with the tv and a handful of people had already made their way there. I remember wondering how the people on the top floors (above the hit site) were going to make it out. A helicopter couldn't land because the extra weight might collapse the building.
Reporters were telling viewers that there were people jumping out of the windows of the buildings. Papers were flying everywhere. Thick, black smoke poured out.
Then it happened. A tower fell. It was unbelievable. I watched as hundreds of trapped people were killed. Then the second tower fell. More smoke. More papers and debris flew everywhere. Terrified faces on tv in Manhattan.
More reports of 2 more planes crashing. One at the Pentagon and one in PA. What was going on? In a daze, I go back to my desk in the conference room. That was the first time I ever remember hearing of the terrorist group and their leader.
I called my parents. Not sure why, because I knew they were ok. I just needed to hear from them. For the next several weeks, our church was filled each Sunday. Everyone was looking for comfort, reassurance, something. Slowly, that faded and attendance was back to "normal."
I remember on the 1 yr anniversary, there was a tv special on the women who where pregnant at the time of the attacks and their spouse was killed. They had their babies, but no Daddy to share them with. I can't imagine facing what is supposed to be the happiest time in my life, knowing that my child will never know his/her Daddy.
Stories surfaced of people who were supposed to be at the towers that day, but were not. People who were supposed to be at the Pentagon that day, but were not. People who should have been on those planes, but were not. Those who should not have been at those places, but were. Those who experienced the tragedy first hand and lived to tell about it. The guilt of the survivors - why did they survive and so many did not? The sicknesses incurred by those who worked at the sites clearing the debris.
Where are we now? As a nation and individually, what have we learned? What have we changed as a result of these horrible events? I'm not referring to the security at airports or background checks on people. I'm referring to REAL changes. This should have been a wake up call to turn our lives around. Live for Jesus. Trust in the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Our country was founded on these beliefs and we have tossed it aside in the name of being "tolerant" and "politically correct."
Jesus was neither. He was loving, but hated sin. He spoke the truth, even when it offended others. He pointed out the sins of others and told them to repent and turn from their evil ways. The events of 9/11/2001 should have prompted this nation to repent and turn from our evil ways.
Today, I still work for the same company. I am still married to the same man. I have a cold today and feel like crap, but I am alive. I have a 5-year-old who is beginning to learn all of the evils this world has to hold. But he reminds me that "God doesn't make mistakes." So true, my son.
I was at work. I had worked for this company for 1 1/2 yrs and been married for 9 months. Our department was in transition from one location in the building to another, so they had 6 of us crammed into a conference room. What was supposed to last a couple of weeks ended up being several months... but that's another story.
Anyway, someone in our group had a call letting her know that one of the World Trade Center buildings had been hit by an airplane. I shrugged it off, because I really didn't believe her... Then she got a call that another plane had hit the other building.
My company only had 1 tv in the building and it was used for "business recovery purposes" only. Well, I found that conference room with the tv and a handful of people had already made their way there. I remember wondering how the people on the top floors (above the hit site) were going to make it out. A helicopter couldn't land because the extra weight might collapse the building.
Reporters were telling viewers that there were people jumping out of the windows of the buildings. Papers were flying everywhere. Thick, black smoke poured out.
Then it happened. A tower fell. It was unbelievable. I watched as hundreds of trapped people were killed. Then the second tower fell. More smoke. More papers and debris flew everywhere. Terrified faces on tv in Manhattan.
More reports of 2 more planes crashing. One at the Pentagon and one in PA. What was going on? In a daze, I go back to my desk in the conference room. That was the first time I ever remember hearing of the terrorist group and their leader.
I called my parents. Not sure why, because I knew they were ok. I just needed to hear from them. For the next several weeks, our church was filled each Sunday. Everyone was looking for comfort, reassurance, something. Slowly, that faded and attendance was back to "normal."
I remember on the 1 yr anniversary, there was a tv special on the women who where pregnant at the time of the attacks and their spouse was killed. They had their babies, but no Daddy to share them with. I can't imagine facing what is supposed to be the happiest time in my life, knowing that my child will never know his/her Daddy.
Stories surfaced of people who were supposed to be at the towers that day, but were not. People who were supposed to be at the Pentagon that day, but were not. People who should have been on those planes, but were not. Those who should not have been at those places, but were. Those who experienced the tragedy first hand and lived to tell about it. The guilt of the survivors - why did they survive and so many did not? The sicknesses incurred by those who worked at the sites clearing the debris.
Where are we now? As a nation and individually, what have we learned? What have we changed as a result of these horrible events? I'm not referring to the security at airports or background checks on people. I'm referring to REAL changes. This should have been a wake up call to turn our lives around. Live for Jesus. Trust in the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Our country was founded on these beliefs and we have tossed it aside in the name of being "tolerant" and "politically correct."
Jesus was neither. He was loving, but hated sin. He spoke the truth, even when it offended others. He pointed out the sins of others and told them to repent and turn from their evil ways. The events of 9/11/2001 should have prompted this nation to repent and turn from our evil ways.
Today, I still work for the same company. I am still married to the same man. I have a cold today and feel like crap, but I am alive. I have a 5-year-old who is beginning to learn all of the evils this world has to hold. But he reminds me that "God doesn't make mistakes." So true, my son.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Why do you eat?
That should be an easy answer. We eat to fuel our body... or we should, anyway. With so much food readily available to us today, we eat for many more reasons.
This is one of the things you have to evaluate before weight loss surgery. A psychological evaluation is required by most insurance companies and/or doctors.
The common misconception is that once you have WLS, you are "fixed." Your issues with food go away. This is so far from the truth. Most people's reasons for being overweight has nothing to do with fueling their body. I still crave things I shouldn't have and I still get "the munchies."
I am an emotional eater - happy, sad, excited, depressed, nervous - you name it and I can eat my way through it. Since WLS, I've had to find other ways to deal with my emotions.
I also eat out of boredom. I have to find ways to keep my mind and hands busy or I will mindlessly eat. Rarely do I sit and watch tv. I'll watch tv while surfing the internet or playing a game on my phone. But just sitting - can't do it.
I also love to read. I can get caught up in the story line of a book and forget about what's going on around me. This keeps my mind busy and can be an outlet to soothe emotions.
Exercise is a great solution - if I exercised regularly. Still got to work on that one...
This is one of the things you have to evaluate before weight loss surgery. A psychological evaluation is required by most insurance companies and/or doctors.
The common misconception is that once you have WLS, you are "fixed." Your issues with food go away. This is so far from the truth. Most people's reasons for being overweight has nothing to do with fueling their body. I still crave things I shouldn't have and I still get "the munchies."
I am an emotional eater - happy, sad, excited, depressed, nervous - you name it and I can eat my way through it. Since WLS, I've had to find other ways to deal with my emotions.
I also eat out of boredom. I have to find ways to keep my mind and hands busy or I will mindlessly eat. Rarely do I sit and watch tv. I'll watch tv while surfing the internet or playing a game on my phone. But just sitting - can't do it.
I also love to read. I can get caught up in the story line of a book and forget about what's going on around me. This keeps my mind busy and can be an outlet to soothe emotions.
Exercise is a great solution - if I exercised regularly. Still got to work on that one...
Saturday, August 11, 2012
4 Months Out
Four months ago today, I had radical surgery - gastric bypass. At times, I still can't believe I went through with it. In four months, I have lost 65 pounds and down several dress sizes. I've gone through more clothes in the last four months... Every few days, I try on what's in my closet to see if it still fits - sometimes yes, sometimes no. Every few days, I go to the closet in the spare bedroom and try on clothes to see if they fit yet - sometimes yes, sometimes no.
How do I feel? Great. Excellent. Energized. I could go on... Today, I cleaned the entire house, washed/dried/folded clothes, went grocery shopping... and still had energy! I am not utterly exhausted. Cleaning was fairly easy without the spare tire (tractor tire) around my middle. I've gone up and down the stairs today and was barely winded. My legs didn't burn. I was even able to "run" up the stairs.
All that in 4 months. Amazing.
Would I do it again? In. A. Heart. Beat.
:-)
How do I feel? Great. Excellent. Energized. I could go on... Today, I cleaned the entire house, washed/dried/folded clothes, went grocery shopping... and still had energy! I am not utterly exhausted. Cleaning was fairly easy without the spare tire (tractor tire) around my middle. I've gone up and down the stairs today and was barely winded. My legs didn't burn. I was even able to "run" up the stairs.
All that in 4 months. Amazing.
Would I do it again? In. A. Heart. Beat.
:-)
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
What's your number now?
That's what my mom asks me every couple of weeks - what's your number now? Meaning - how much weight have you lost? 61 pounds.... in 3 1/2 months! Yea, me!
Some people are really offended this question. People are amazed at how fast weight loss surgery (WLS)patients lose weight. They can't believe how much we lose in such a short amount of time. Honestly, I find it hard to believe and I'm living it. However, I don't find the question offensive. It's a badge of honor. I say it with a smile on my face.always.
Now, don't ask me my what my weight is or how much I weighed at the beginning of this process. I'll share that one day, but for now, it's.none.of.your.business. I think that goes for most women :-) I pack a lot in this 5' 3.5" frame - not as much now, but still more than necessary.
The next comment is usually something like, "well, you look great... not that you didn't before, but you know what I mean." Yes, I know what you mean. I always follow up with "I feel great." I mean, isn't that what's really important? Being healthy, feeling good and having energy is fantastic! Of course, fitting in clothes that I haven't worn in YEARS is awesome. Not having to shop in the "big girl" sizes is awesome. Knowing that my husband can put his arms all the way around me is awesome. And knowing he can now pick me up, if needed, is awesome.
I have about 33 pounds to go before I reach my goal. The weight is coming off a little slower than I'd like, but it's been "hellish" hot. Exercise has never excited me, but in this heat... forgettaboutit. Plus, my new bike had a flat tire. Really.flat.tire. Like, 1 minute after pumping it up, it's flat again. So, I have a new tube in the tire and now waiting for afternoon storms to pass. I know, I could be exercising inside. Who wants to do that?
Some people are really offended this question. People are amazed at how fast weight loss surgery (WLS)patients lose weight. They can't believe how much we lose in such a short amount of time. Honestly, I find it hard to believe and I'm living it. However, I don't find the question offensive. It's a badge of honor. I say it with a smile on my face.always.
Now, don't ask me my what my weight is or how much I weighed at the beginning of this process. I'll share that one day, but for now, it's.none.of.your.business. I think that goes for most women :-) I pack a lot in this 5' 3.5" frame - not as much now, but still more than necessary.
The next comment is usually something like, "well, you look great... not that you didn't before, but you know what I mean." Yes, I know what you mean. I always follow up with "I feel great." I mean, isn't that what's really important? Being healthy, feeling good and having energy is fantastic! Of course, fitting in clothes that I haven't worn in YEARS is awesome. Not having to shop in the "big girl" sizes is awesome. Knowing that my husband can put his arms all the way around me is awesome. And knowing he can now pick me up, if needed, is awesome.
I have about 33 pounds to go before I reach my goal. The weight is coming off a little slower than I'd like, but it's been "hellish" hot. Exercise has never excited me, but in this heat... forgettaboutit. Plus, my new bike had a flat tire. Really.flat.tire. Like, 1 minute after pumping it up, it's flat again. So, I have a new tube in the tire and now waiting for afternoon storms to pass. I know, I could be exercising inside. Who wants to do that?
Monday, July 9, 2012
Update
I had my 3 month post-op visit with my surgeon today. I've lost almost 60 pounds which is 55% of my excess body weight... in 3 months!! It's so hard to believe.
I went through my clothes again for like the 100th time. Removed clothes too big and added clothes that I can now wear. I've gone from a size 18/20 to 14... Did I mention it's only been 3 months??
My hair is starting to fall out. This is typical about 3-4 months post-op. It's usually caused by the trauma of surgery and rapid weight loss. Sometimes it's made worse by lack of protein. I know I'm not getting all of the protein I need each day. It's very difficult! My dr said to expect the hair loss to continue for another 3-4 weeks and then it should get better. Oh, and my hair will grow back. It's a temporary thing.
Still working on drinking enough water. Pre-surgery, I drank water because I knew I needed to and only when I was VERY thirsty. Now, water is all I drink. I have to make sure I drink, even when I'm not thirsty. Dehydration can set in fast. Lately, it's been over 100 degrees F, so drinking water has been easy. I've even added PowerZero (Powerade) and G2 (Gatorade). PowerZero and G2 are the low calorie, low sugar versions of the original. It's nice to add some flavor without the artificial sweetener.
Even my fingers are shrinking. I'm going to have to get my wedding rings re-sized soon... :-)
I went through my clothes again for like the 100th time. Removed clothes too big and added clothes that I can now wear. I've gone from a size 18/20 to 14... Did I mention it's only been 3 months??
My hair is starting to fall out. This is typical about 3-4 months post-op. It's usually caused by the trauma of surgery and rapid weight loss. Sometimes it's made worse by lack of protein. I know I'm not getting all of the protein I need each day. It's very difficult! My dr said to expect the hair loss to continue for another 3-4 weeks and then it should get better. Oh, and my hair will grow back. It's a temporary thing.
Still working on drinking enough water. Pre-surgery, I drank water because I knew I needed to and only when I was VERY thirsty. Now, water is all I drink. I have to make sure I drink, even when I'm not thirsty. Dehydration can set in fast. Lately, it's been over 100 degrees F, so drinking water has been easy. I've even added PowerZero (Powerade) and G2 (Gatorade). PowerZero and G2 are the low calorie, low sugar versions of the original. It's nice to add some flavor without the artificial sweetener.
Even my fingers are shrinking. I'm going to have to get my wedding rings re-sized soon... :-)
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Give Away
One of my favorite bloggers, theworldaccordingtoeggface, is having a great give away! Chike protein samples and a blender cup. Check out her blog, facebook and twitter.
Friday, June 22, 2012
Almost 50...for a while
For the past week, I've been staring at the same number on the scale. I knew this would happen. It has happened before.
I've hit a plateau.... at 49 lbs lost. I want to reach that milestone...
Part of it is due to travel. I've been out of town this week and it's HARD to eat responsibly when traveling. I don't care who you are. I've also not had a chance to exercise.
Well, Monday night I was in downtown Charlotte, NC (with the American Idol auditions). Due to the additional kiddie traffic in Charlotte, security guards were everywhere. We felt really safe and ended up putting on our walking shoes to walk several blocks. It felt great! The air was cool, humidity low and a great breeze. Since then... not so much.
I'm going to ride my bike again very soon.
And, I'm going to jump off this plateau... somehow.
I've hit a plateau.... at 49 lbs lost. I want to reach that milestone...
Part of it is due to travel. I've been out of town this week and it's HARD to eat responsibly when traveling. I don't care who you are. I've also not had a chance to exercise.
Well, Monday night I was in downtown Charlotte, NC (with the American Idol auditions). Due to the additional kiddie traffic in Charlotte, security guards were everywhere. We felt really safe and ended up putting on our walking shoes to walk several blocks. It felt great! The air was cool, humidity low and a great breeze. Since then... not so much.
I'm going to ride my bike again very soon.
And, I'm going to jump off this plateau... somehow.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Milestone - Passed
I knew I was creeping up (or down) to a milestone, but I totally missed it :-) That milestone was hitting my pre-pregnancy weight. I haven't seen those numbers on the scale in over 5 years. Not only did I reach that number, I passed it.
When I saw that on the scale this morning, it was bitter sweet. I don't like that I missed seeing that actual weight, but at the same time to weigh less that that was WONDERFUL!
I've lost a total of 45.5 pounds since April 11!!
When I saw that on the scale this morning, it was bitter sweet. I don't like that I missed seeing that actual weight, but at the same time to weigh less that that was WONDERFUL!
I've lost a total of 45.5 pounds since April 11!!
Monday, June 11, 2012
Exercise
Yes, it's time. Time to get my butt out of the chair and ... do SOMETHING! For the last week or so, I have had the most energy than I've had in a LONG TIME. I actually have the desire to exercise. This is monumental. We all know we need to exercise, but who actually wants to??
Anyway, my birthday was a couple of weeks ago and my parents were asking what I wanted. I keep a Wish List on Amazon.com (my favorite place to buy anything). In talking, I mentioned a bike. Well, after sending pictures of what I had in mind, they bought it for me. I'm so excited! I haven't had a bike since... middle school? I can't remember.
This is it. It's not the same color, but who cares? Of course, they had to get me a helmet and I asked for a place to hold a water bottle. We'll also have to invest in a different seat. Why do they make bicycle seats so small? I mean really?! No one finds that comfortable.
So, this weekend when we see them for my little man's 5th birthday, they will bring my bike. Will I still be able to keep my balance? Let's start praying now...
Sunday, June 3, 2012
7 1/2 Weeks Post Surgery
I am 7 1/2 weeks post surgery - gastric bypass, RNY to be specific. I've lost a total of 41 pounds. Everyone is amazed how much I have lost in such a short amount of time. I have to admit that I'm amazed as well.
I've had people ask if they could just eat like I do without the surgery and lose weight. Yes, you can and hopefully you won't eat your arm or kill someone in the process. Anyone can eat less and exercise more and they will lose weight. But will you? The problem is sticking with the plan. Surgery makes this a lifetime commitment.
Here's what I had today:
Breakfast was part of a Vanilla Cream Muscle Milk. 11oz of this only has 170 calories and 20 grams of protein. Yummy!
Lunch was a small piece of pork chop baked in Italian dressing and mac & cheese made with 2% evaporated milk.
Yes, that is on a salad plate and no, I couldn't eat all of it. However, what I ate stayed down and didn't hurt!!
Since lunch, I've had a couple of sips of low sodium tomato soup. Mainly, I wanted something salty and not sweet for a snack. I've also been working on getting water in. That's a daily chore.
I'll probably have the rest of the muscle milk this afternoon. I have no idea what's for supper - maybe some Greek yogurt??
What a drastic change this is to my life.
I've had people ask if they could just eat like I do without the surgery and lose weight. Yes, you can and hopefully you won't eat your arm or kill someone in the process. Anyone can eat less and exercise more and they will lose weight. But will you? The problem is sticking with the plan. Surgery makes this a lifetime commitment.
Here's what I had today:
Breakfast was part of a Vanilla Cream Muscle Milk. 11oz of this only has 170 calories and 20 grams of protein. Yummy!
Lunch was a small piece of pork chop baked in Italian dressing and mac & cheese made with 2% evaporated milk.
Yes, that is on a salad plate and no, I couldn't eat all of it. However, what I ate stayed down and didn't hurt!!
Since lunch, I've had a couple of sips of low sodium tomato soup. Mainly, I wanted something salty and not sweet for a snack. I've also been working on getting water in. That's a daily chore.
I'll probably have the rest of the muscle milk this afternoon. I have no idea what's for supper - maybe some Greek yogurt??
What a drastic change this is to my life.
Friday, May 11, 2012
One Month Post Surgery
Well, I took the plunge. Today is my one month anniversary of having gastric bypass surgery. It's been a hard month of learning what I can and cannot tolerate, sipping water all day long, remembering vitamins and watching the scale slowly move. As of today, I've lost 27.5 pounds.
I no longer need medication for my blood pressure. My clothing choices are no longer limited by what's not too tight yet. I put on a pair of pants today that I could not fit in pre-surgery. Today, I have about 1 1/2 inches to spare in the waist. I even had to buy a small lunch bag to take to work.
I'm thankful for these positive changes...but, it hasn't been easy. It's been hard. I've had to learn when to stop eating. If I eat too much or eat something that I cannot tolerate yet or eat to fast, I feel horrible until I throw up... I know that's gross. Last weekend, I forgot to thoroughly chew up a strawberry and swallow small bits at the time - I soon paid for it. I can't afford to "forget" how to eat.
The surgery did not take away my "want" for cake and other sweets. But now I know if I eat those, I will be very sick. Dumping Syndrome does not sound like a walk in the park and I do not want first hand experience.
I have found that people are very curious as to what I eat and how much I eat. I used to be ashamed at how much I would eat at one sitting. Now, I eat like a bird and people are amazed - "that's all you ate?!?" Yes, any more and it will be on your shoes. Mornings are the hardest. I'm not hungry and a little queasy, but I have medicine to take and I know I need to eat... 2 to 3 bites and I'm done.
I try to have a protein meal bar or protein snack bar during the day. If I don't get enough protein, my hair will fall out and my nails will quit growing. I don't really care about the nails, but I enjoy having hair on my head.
The vitamins are gross. Everything has to be chewable, but not gummies. It's basically like chewing flavored chalk. The only exception is my calcium chews. They taste like lemon bars and I like lemon bars :-) I have 2 multivitamins, iron, B12 and 3 calcium chews each day. They all can't be taken at the same time - iron and calcium don't mix. Also, your body can only absorb 500 mg of calcium at the time, so my calcium has to be spaced out from each other and the iron. It's a juggling act to get them all in before the end of the day.
I should be getting 48 to 64 oz of water in each day. Not being able to gulp a bottle of water makes this very hard. If I haven't sipped all day, my supper will consist of LOTS of water sipping. My stomach just can't handle food and water at the same time - amazing. And it has to be ice cold. I used to be able to drink room temperature water. Not now. It's gross.
So many changes. So much weight already gone. So much room in my clothes. So much left to learn.
I no longer need medication for my blood pressure. My clothing choices are no longer limited by what's not too tight yet. I put on a pair of pants today that I could not fit in pre-surgery. Today, I have about 1 1/2 inches to spare in the waist. I even had to buy a small lunch bag to take to work.
I'm thankful for these positive changes...but, it hasn't been easy. It's been hard. I've had to learn when to stop eating. If I eat too much or eat something that I cannot tolerate yet or eat to fast, I feel horrible until I throw up... I know that's gross. Last weekend, I forgot to thoroughly chew up a strawberry and swallow small bits at the time - I soon paid for it. I can't afford to "forget" how to eat.
The surgery did not take away my "want" for cake and other sweets. But now I know if I eat those, I will be very sick. Dumping Syndrome does not sound like a walk in the park and I do not want first hand experience.
I have found that people are very curious as to what I eat and how much I eat. I used to be ashamed at how much I would eat at one sitting. Now, I eat like a bird and people are amazed - "that's all you ate?!?" Yes, any more and it will be on your shoes. Mornings are the hardest. I'm not hungry and a little queasy, but I have medicine to take and I know I need to eat... 2 to 3 bites and I'm done.
I try to have a protein meal bar or protein snack bar during the day. If I don't get enough protein, my hair will fall out and my nails will quit growing. I don't really care about the nails, but I enjoy having hair on my head.
The vitamins are gross. Everything has to be chewable, but not gummies. It's basically like chewing flavored chalk. The only exception is my calcium chews. They taste like lemon bars and I like lemon bars :-) I have 2 multivitamins, iron, B12 and 3 calcium chews each day. They all can't be taken at the same time - iron and calcium don't mix. Also, your body can only absorb 500 mg of calcium at the time, so my calcium has to be spaced out from each other and the iron. It's a juggling act to get them all in before the end of the day.
I should be getting 48 to 64 oz of water in each day. Not being able to gulp a bottle of water makes this very hard. If I haven't sipped all day, my supper will consist of LOTS of water sipping. My stomach just can't handle food and water at the same time - amazing. And it has to be ice cold. I used to be able to drink room temperature water. Not now. It's gross.
So many changes. So much weight already gone. So much room in my clothes. So much left to learn.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Almost There
I am 2 1/2 days away from surgery. Since Wednesday, I have been on a liquid diet, consuming 800 calories a day. The first 2 days were absolutely. horrible. I felt so bad - tired, sad and overall... blah. That's what it's like when you come off of sugar, cold turkey. Luckily, I had already gotten caffeine out of my system so I didn't have a caffeine headache to worry about.
Also, I've lost 7 pounds in the last 6 days. That's something. I've endured a birthday party (complete with Oreo ice cream cake), a wedding and dinner @ my mother-in-law's. That's REALLY something! Friday night was the first time I have EVER left a restaurant stillstarving hungry. I can have one cup of steamed veggies each day, so that has helped a little.
I'm supposed to drink protein shakes to get the protein I need each day. I was struggling to choke them down each morning. So today, I added some all natural peanut butter to my shake. So. much. better. I can actually drink it without gagging. Usually, I don't have a problem with drinking stuff, but this chocolate flavor crap is tough. I've got to find a way to drink them - they will be vital to my diet post surgery.
By the way, if I don't get enough protein my hair will start falling out, nails stop growing, etc. Not good.
Cheers!
- J
Also, I've lost 7 pounds in the last 6 days. That's something. I've endured a birthday party (complete with Oreo ice cream cake), a wedding and dinner @ my mother-in-law's. That's REALLY something! Friday night was the first time I have EVER left a restaurant still
I'm supposed to drink protein shakes to get the protein I need each day. I was struggling to choke them down each morning. So today, I added some all natural peanut butter to my shake. So. much. better. I can actually drink it without gagging. Usually, I don't have a problem with drinking stuff, but this chocolate flavor crap is tough. I've got to find a way to drink them - they will be vital to my diet post surgery.
By the way, if I don't get enough protein my hair will start falling out, nails stop growing, etc. Not good.
Cheers!
- J
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Weight Loss
My weight has been an on-going struggle for me for the last several years. In high school, weight was never a problem. A Snickers and Mt Dew was my morning snack and a honey bun after school. Of course, I played tennis in the fall and stayed on the go, like most teenagers. I gained a few in college, but nothing too concerning.
My weight started to balloon in the summer of 2004. I had been married over 3 years and my thyroid went into over drive. I dropped 20 pounds and was giddy. Not happy-giddy, but nervous. That's when I found out that my thyroid was out of whack. I took a dose of radioactive iodine to slow down my thyroid. When it bottomed out, so did I.
Most people don't think about their thyroid. It's a small butterfly-shaped gland that wraps around your windpipe in your neck. It controls your metabolism, among other things. Metabolism doesn't just concern your weight; it also effects how fast or slow your organs work. When my hyper thyroid was diagnosed, my resting heart rate was over 100 beats per minute - rather fast, don't cha think? This explains why I was losing weight, but I lost muscle tone as well as fat.
So now, I take thyroid hormones everyday and will for the rest of my life. This means that I have an artificial metabolism :-) But, that's not the only reason why I'm overweight. I love to eat! Sweets are a weakness. Depriving myself, not giving into my wants, is like torture.
So I have to wonder, what is at the root of my weight issue? Is it will power? Genetics? Thyroid? Yes. It's all of that. Plus I battle depression and that medicine can cause weight gain. I have a lot working against me. But have to wonder is that all? Do I rely on (worship) food? Is food my god?
I know from a lifetime of Bible-preaching church services, that I am a sinner from conception. I was created by God, but born to sinful parents, brought up in a sinful world, married to a sinful man and have a sinful child. By the grace of God, the sinfulness has been forgiven. Although my sin is forgiven, I still am a sinner and sin daily. I also know that idolatry is a sin. We all worship someone or something. We all have times where God and/or Jesus is not our focus. We are all idolaters.
Is food my idol? Or is it pride? Or both?
I ponder this question often as I head toward gastric bypass surgery. Surgery is not meant to solve problems, but a "tool" to help lose weight. Will re-wiring my stomach and intestines also re-wire my desires? Physically, yes. Spiritually, no. I will continue to struggle, but will the change in my physical desires allow me to channel that desire toward Jesus? How do I trust Jesus and at the same time allow medical science change the perfect design of the human body?
Having surgery has been a sad decision for me. I'm embarrassed that's it's come to this. It's like I have admitted defeat. I'm not THAT overweight, but I need to lose a good 80 pounds or so. I'm almost 34 and have to take medicine for high blood pressure. I've told immediate family and a few people at work about my surgery. Everyone has been supportive. Being overweight is a very public battle. Everyone can see that you can't "control yourself."
So, I hang my head and admit defeat. At the same time, I look forward to a time where food and being hungry does not consume me. I look forward to taking one less pill everyday (bp meds). I look forward to my clothes not cutting into my stomach. I look forward to no longer shopping in the "big girl" section. I look forward to not being embarrassed at how much I over eat. I look forward to having more energy and feeling comfortable enough (in my own skin) to exercise.
I look forward to hope. Hope that Jesus will use this in my life somehow to glorify Him.
-J
My weight started to balloon in the summer of 2004. I had been married over 3 years and my thyroid went into over drive. I dropped 20 pounds and was giddy. Not happy-giddy, but nervous. That's when I found out that my thyroid was out of whack. I took a dose of radioactive iodine to slow down my thyroid. When it bottomed out, so did I.
Most people don't think about their thyroid. It's a small butterfly-shaped gland that wraps around your windpipe in your neck. It controls your metabolism, among other things. Metabolism doesn't just concern your weight; it also effects how fast or slow your organs work. When my hyper thyroid was diagnosed, my resting heart rate was over 100 beats per minute - rather fast, don't cha think? This explains why I was losing weight, but I lost muscle tone as well as fat.
So now, I take thyroid hormones everyday and will for the rest of my life. This means that I have an artificial metabolism :-) But, that's not the only reason why I'm overweight. I love to eat! Sweets are a weakness. Depriving myself, not giving into my wants, is like torture.
So I have to wonder, what is at the root of my weight issue? Is it will power? Genetics? Thyroid? Yes. It's all of that. Plus I battle depression and that medicine can cause weight gain. I have a lot working against me. But have to wonder is that all? Do I rely on (worship) food? Is food my god?
I know from a lifetime of Bible-preaching church services, that I am a sinner from conception. I was created by God, but born to sinful parents, brought up in a sinful world, married to a sinful man and have a sinful child. By the grace of God, the sinfulness has been forgiven. Although my sin is forgiven, I still am a sinner and sin daily. I also know that idolatry is a sin. We all worship someone or something. We all have times where God and/or Jesus is not our focus. We are all idolaters.
Is food my idol? Or is it pride? Or both?
I ponder this question often as I head toward gastric bypass surgery. Surgery is not meant to solve problems, but a "tool" to help lose weight. Will re-wiring my stomach and intestines also re-wire my desires? Physically, yes. Spiritually, no. I will continue to struggle, but will the change in my physical desires allow me to channel that desire toward Jesus? How do I trust Jesus and at the same time allow medical science change the perfect design of the human body?
Having surgery has been a sad decision for me. I'm embarrassed that's it's come to this. It's like I have admitted defeat. I'm not THAT overweight, but I need to lose a good 80 pounds or so. I'm almost 34 and have to take medicine for high blood pressure. I've told immediate family and a few people at work about my surgery. Everyone has been supportive. Being overweight is a very public battle. Everyone can see that you can't "control yourself."
So, I hang my head and admit defeat. At the same time, I look forward to a time where food and being hungry does not consume me. I look forward to taking one less pill everyday (bp meds). I look forward to my clothes not cutting into my stomach. I look forward to no longer shopping in the "big girl" section. I look forward to not being embarrassed at how much I over eat. I look forward to having more energy and feeling comfortable enough (in my own skin) to exercise.
I look forward to hope. Hope that Jesus will use this in my life somehow to glorify Him.
-J
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